The Perceys earned themselves another handy 3 points in this hard-fought battle against high-flying Bikin’ Motion. The opposition, who for some reason feel that an apostrophe instead of a ‘g’ is somehow a good idea, had been held to a 2-2 draw in the previous meeting between the two sides. This was another team who wear yellow, which as everybody knows is a bad idea, unless you get poisoned pre-game by some really strong diuretics, in which case yellow is the in colour to have.

The good guys (that’s us, honest.) lined up with the same squad as last time, except with a new goalkeeper, recruited from the James Down Academy (or Cuthbert Mayne, to you and me) Whether or not James had promised young Andrew higher grades, or maybe that he’d arrange a date with one of his many football-playing fillies, remains to be seen, but in any case, the Percey’s goalkeeping crisis appears to be over for now. Happily, this freed Cocks to surge forward, releasing the ball when necessary, and possibly shooting from outside the box.


Terry Murray and Ballo were the two who were volunteered to start on the sidelines; probably because they’d neglected to take off their coats in their not-very-cold-at-all conditions. With ‘Whisky’ Down (look, stick with it, it’ll work, you’ll see) pushed forward, the Perceys started quite well, a very welcome change.

However, the burly tactics of the Bikin’ Boys (which coincidentally is the name of a very popular austrian gay pride band. Okay, it’s not, but it could be) soon gave them the upper hand. An seemingly-innocuous free kick was conceded not far from the Percey goal, and some bloke was able to score. It was at this stage that the strong-arm play of the Bikin Motion team saw a lovely altercation between Cocks and a caveman wannabe in a yellow shirt. Referee Stuart Pringle, who obviously felt that not enough attention was being paid to him, galloped over and informed Cocks that he was lucky not to get sent off and be banned for the rest of the season. Given that the season has 6 months left to run, this seems to be a slightly unfair threat, seeing that shoving half of Colombia up your nose only resulted in a 7 month ban for Adrian Mutu the other day. Anyway, the game continued once Cocks had been told off like a little boy who’d broken his mother’s best china.

Perceys were starting to exert their own pressure by now, and with the defence holding firm, it would not be long before they got their reward. A yellow defender contrived to sky the ball, and uttered a naughty word, the little scamp. Pringle (who, it must be said, looks like a character out of Postman Pat.) decided that nobody had mentioned him in the report for at least 6 lines so he pointed to the spot. Up stepped Whisky to convert the penalty with a cool-headed assurance that hasn’t been seen since, well, the last time. Cue lots of wild applause and cheering from the Appreciation Societly….well, a quiet “well done” and some polite applause, at least, cos JDAS seemed to be a little bit thin this evening. Possibly scared of him after he, (and I quote) “gave them all a right roasting at half time” during their match last weekend. And I thought they only got half an orange and some water.

I’ll be going along to watch on sunday 😉

Anyway. Half-time came after about, ooh, 30 minutes, which it often does, and as the teams turned around there was a sense of optimism about because we really were playing okay. Typically, though, the Perceys went behind after some attacking play by them, via an admittedly well-taken left-footed half-volley. This didn’t dampen Percey spirits, though, and rather than concede a few more, they were able to really get amongst them and create a few chances. Head was able to marshall the defence well, and after a nifty tackle, he stormed forward (some would say “beckenbauer-esque”) and unleashed a shot which flew just wide. Terry Murray was doing his usual tricks and taking it round everybody….in fact, he was just going through the Motions..! (sorry, couldn’t help myself) When the goal did come, it was a from a well-worked move which saw Terry and Scales bomb down the wing, exchanges passes, and the ball arrived at Cock’s feet after a slight ricochet. The Pornmeister, possibly relieved at not having to go in goal, finished off in some style to leave the scores at 2-2. Now it was only Perceys who were going to snatch a win in the dying seconds, and indeed they had a gilt-edged chance very late on when a lovely move (which Ballo had a hand in watching!) gave Whisky just the goalie to beat. Alas, his first touch let him down slightly, and the chance had gone. A surprise, given JD’s form in front of goal this term. (term, teacher, geddit? oh, never mind)

And the Perceys have the start of a run! 2 without defeat, that’s…average! Yeah! And a good new ‘keeper, too, Andy had a storming debut.

Team; Kingdon; Badcott; Head; Cocks; Down; Cole; Scales; Started in coats; Murray, Ballard.