I went racing at Newton Abbot on wednesday. Well, I say ‘I went racing’….I went to watch. Let’s face it, I’d not have much chance against horses. they’re really fast, you know.

I even managed to win! You’d think that working in a bookies would mean that I know what I’m talking about, but you’d be wrong. It just means that I’m more capable of talking s**t. And to be fair, I was born with a bit of talent in that department anyway :)

I backed a horse called Nova Girl, and coming to the last fence she was in third, with no chance. I’ve chucked my ticket away, and joked that “I only need 2 fallers to win”. And they both fell at the last, which was really funny. Well, not for the poor buggers sprawled in pain on the floor, but hey. I had to scrabble about for my (now winning) ticket as well…not very dignified, but it was worth 90 quid.

After this we repaired to the bar, to celebrate..which leads me onto the second part of the entry..I got completely wasted…really, I was a mess.

I should probably explain the relationship between me and the demon alcohol. I went through a stage when i was at university of drinking for england…i could really knock them back with the best of them. And not this lager crap, neither. I dont actually like beer.

I prefer my drinks like my women…with a bit of spirit..

Apologies, thats a really crap gag…and this is me saying it 😉

where was I..? oh, yeah. Hm, I drink drinks that I actually like the taste of, rather than ones that get me pissed quicker. I’ve even been known to indulge in those blue WKD things. I’ve never really seen the point of drinking just to get drunk…although admittedly it can be quite a welcome side-effect :) I quite like being drunk..I get a bit silly, and maybe a bit louder, but really I’ve more of a danger to myself..

Why do people get nasty when they’re drunk?

When I got back from the pub, at about 8 o’clock, i decided i was hungry, so I ventured bravely to the chippy, doing that “drunk person pretending to be sober” walk…the one where you suddenly become friends with things like lamposts and walls. So anyway (And i realise I’m on going on a bit now) I got my pie and chips and went home to eat.

The next thing I remember is waking up at half past 1 in the morning with my face in a steak and kidney pie. And I was still bloody hungry!